Hey!
A couple of weeks ago I asked the question 'Why did I do that? So this week we're going to build on that.
Last time, we talked about those moments when we find ourselves slipping — making choices that don’t align with the version of ourselves we’re trying to build.
That frustrating “Why did I do that?” moment aka the 'Fuck it' moment
But once we’ve asked that question and got a bit curious (not critical), the next question becomes even more powerful:
What do I want instead?
It sounds simple, but don’t underestimate it — this question holds a subtle kind of power.
Because when we spend all of our time thinking about what we don’twant (“I don’t want to keep missing workouts” / “I don’t want to keep eating junk late at night”), we stay stuck in resistance, frustration and self-blame.
What actually pulls us forward is clarity.
Knowing — really knowing — what we’re moving toward.
1. Ask Better Questions
It's about how we talk to ourself, try swapping “Why do I always mess this up?” with: - “What do I want more of in my life?”
- “What version of me am I working toward?”
- “How do I want to feel at the end of today?”
Notice how different those feel? They're expansive. They open the door to action and alignment.
Your Prompt:
Take 5 minutes to journal or reflect on these , don't over think it, keep it simple: - Who am I becoming?
- What habits does that version of me live by?
- What does that person no longer tolerate?
You don’t need to have all the answers. Start where you are — and let the vision sharpen as you go.
2. Define It Clearly
Vague goals like “be healthier” or “get my life together” are impossible to act on. Let’s get SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, timebound)
Instead of:
“I want to eat better” → Try: “I want to feel energised, not bloated or sluggish, after meals.”
“I want to be more disciplined” → Try: “I want to consistently follow through on my morning routine.”
Task:
Create a simple “My Aligned Day” list.
Write out what an ideal, aligned day looks like for you — meals, movement, rest, mindset, boundaries.
Keep it visible. Let it be a reminder of what you’re choosing on purpose.
3. Think in Terms of Identity, Not Just Outcomes
Willpower fades. But identity? Identity sticks.
Instead of only focusing on results like weight loss, productivity, or aesthetics — root your choices in the type of person you’re becoming.
Try these: - “I’m someone who keeps promises to myself.”
- “I’m someone who prioritises what matters most.”
- “I’m someone who chooses aligned actions, even when it’s hard.”
Every time you act in line with who you want to be, it’s like casting a vote for that version of yourself. You don’t have to get it right every time — just enough times to tip the balance.
When you know what you want — what you really, really want (try reading that without singing it ;-) )
— your choices get simpler. Not always easier, but clearer.
The more vivid your vision becomes, the less appealing the old patterns feel.
Because you are no longer just reacting — you are creating something.
You’re not just breaking habits. You’re building a new version of you.
Step by step. Day by day. Decision by decision.
This Week’s Challenge:- Write your “My Aligned Day” — morning to night.
- Choose one new identity-based statement to anchor you.
- Ask yourself daily:
“What do I want instead — and how can I choose that today?”
And if today wasn’t perfect? That’s fine. Tomorrow’s another vote.
Imperfectly taking action daily makes more progress than taking no action at all
Danni x
P.s. the Summer School Challenge is on its way! 6-weeks of fun, quick & simple fitness, making best choices that align with you and your chosen identity and back to school with a little self study and taking action... NO FUSS!
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